How To Build Friendships Online - and where To Find Them
The hidden cost of likes vs genuine relationships
Social Media alternatives.
We’re tired of manipulation, AI, and greedy corporations.
It’s time for a change. We must recover our freedom of expression. Free our enslaved attention and rescue our creativity.
We must shift course and sail to new alternatives - without committing the same mistakes.
“Social” media platforms can be grouped into several major categories based on their core functions.
General social networking platforms like Facebook, MeWe, WT. Social, and Minds focus on connecting people through profiles, feeds, and friend systems. Microblogging platforms such as Twitter/X, Threads, Mastodon, Bluesky, and Nostr emphasize short-form, real-time content and trending discussion.
Photo and video sharing platforms—like Instagram, TikTok, BeReal, VSCO, and EyeEm—prioritize visual content, from curated images to short videos and reels.
For long-form video and live streaming, platforms such as YouTube, Rumble, Odysee, PeerTube, and Twitch serve creators and audiences alike.
Professional networking platforms like LinkedIn, Polywork, and Lunchclub are tailored for career-building, portfolios, and industry conversations. Community and interest-based forums such as Reddit, Lemmy, KBin, Tildes, and Discord revolve around shared topics, group discussions, and niche communities. Messaging and group chat platforms—including WhatsApp, Telegram, Signal, Matrix, and Guilded—enable real-time, often private, communication among individuals or groups.
Finally, decentralized and Web3 platforms like Mastodon (Fediverse), Lens Protocol, Farcaster, Scuttlebutt, and Nostr allow users to own their data and connect across distributed networks without centralized control.
Tools to create your websites.
We might often prefer to build our websites taking the fastest and easiest path.
I get it. Everyone wants their amazing website to capture emails, present a service/product, etc. We rush to acquire templates or use platforms to build our site. We use Wix for its Visual Builder, 800+ templates, SEO tools for small businesses, and portfolios. Some go with Squarespace for sleek templates, built-in blogging, commerce - useful for Creatives, photographers, blogs.
Another option is Webflow for its (No-code mode) Visual design + CMS + animations - great for designers who want control.
For creators, Carrd is a great option because it offers one-page websites, with simple Landing pages, resumes, and link hubs.
For building online stores, Shopify is a great option because it offers an online store builder, no coding needed eCommerce-only users.
Finally, we’ve WordPress with its great template-based blogging and site tools and huge plugin library - great for Bloggers and freelancers.
Why’s Substack more than newsletters?
Substack is like a magical portal to a world where different types of content and people meet.
From Blog-style web posts to Email newsletters. From Optional RSS feeds and custom domains to videos and livestreams. Listen to audio posts and full podcast episodes. See beautiful pictures and join group chats. This platform offers a wide range of formats and passionate creators with a great focus on community, storytelling, and Education.
Every post lives on the web and in inboxes, making it dual-purpose.
Get 90% - Unlock it all — explore everything we’ve built for you at just 10% of the price.
Get 80% - Experience the full journey — see if something here ignites your creativity.
Get 70% - Support thoughtful work and enjoy full access — you make this possible.
This ecosystem allows you to start a solid online business.
With simple monetization strategies like:
Paid subscriptions (monthly/yearly)
Tiers (free vs paid vs founding supporters)
Subscriber-only content, including paywalled posts or podcast episodes
Not only that, but you can also promote other products and services.
Substack has a “Notes” feed (like Twitter/X), perfect for:
Short posts and replies.
Cross-posting between writers.
Social discovery through follows, recommendations, and quote-notes.
It's becoming a social network for creators and passionate people.
With great analytics, we can make our content better.
Thanks to Stripe, we have great monetization options. Referral tools allow us to grow together. We also have creator-to-creator bundles, recommendations, collaboration tools, and more community features to offer unique experiences to our viewers.
It has evolved into a creator economy platform that offers:
✍️ Publishing.
🤝 Community.
📣 Distribution.
🧩 Content Hub.
💰 Monetization.
It’s more like a creator-owned ecosystem than just another email tool.
The importance of platform independence.
Coding is hard.
There're so many tools. So much knowledge you need to unlock. So many hours of dedication. After many ups and downs you will defently succeed.
Can I tell you the truth?
It’s worth it!!!
Platforms will raise and fall in an endless cycle of birth and death.
You must create your tools. Be the master of your websites. There’s never been a time when owning your ecosystem was vital for anyone - from the smallest creators to the bigger businesses. The reality is that we can’t fully trust platforms. We can’t go all in and put our eggs in one basket. Luckly for you there’s Soulis Media has everything you need to solve this problems.
You don’t have spend years of your life and a fortune trying to learn how to code or having to deal with abusive platform policies and restrictions.
We can help you design, develop, maintain, and scale your ever-growing digital ecosystem.
To solve the most painful problems you and your audience are facing right now. You don’t have to face this alone.
We’ve helped creators and businesses like yours turn messy digital challenges into focused, scalable solutions. If that sounds like something you need, we’re offering a no-pressure 20-minute strategy call — just to help you map out what’s next.
You're scrolling through your feed, watching hundreds of "connections" double-tap their way through your life. Heart emoji here, fire emoji there. You feel connected, right?
Wrong.
You're experiencing the greatest illusion of our digital age. We've traded depth for breadth, intimacy for metrics, and genuine human connection for algorithmic validation.
The result? We're more "connected" than ever, yet lonelier than any generation before us.
Here's what's happening behind those numbers.
Why Likes Will Never Replace Real Relationships
That dopamine hit from 50 likes feels good for about 3.7 seconds. Then what?
Research shows that whilst likes provide instant gratification, they create a feedback loop that distances us from meaningful connection. We start performing instead of being, curating instead of sharing, and comparing instead of connecting.
The psychology is brutal: every scroll session becomes a "compare and despair" cycle. You see Sarah's promotion, Mark's holiday, Jenny's perfect relationship, and your brain doesn't process these as highlight reels, but as your failures.
The truth? Surface-level engagement through likes and comments triggers the same reward pathways as genuine connection, but provides none of the lasting benefits.
It's junk food for your social needs.
Real connection happens when someone remembers your mum's surgery next Tuesday, when they text to check how your presentation went. When they notice you've gone quiet and actually call to check on you.
The Hidden Cost of Endless Scrolling
Let me paint you a picture of your evening scroll session.
You pick up your phone feeling fine. Twenty minutes later, you're anxious, comparing yourself to strangers, and emotionally drained.
Sound familiar?
This isn't accidental. Every platform is designed to keep you scrolling, and your mental health pays the price. Studies reveal that people consuming negative social media content experience measurably higher distress levels. The more you scroll, the worse you feel.
To fix it, you have to become ruthlessly intentional about what you consume.
Instead of mindlessly scrolling, curate your inputs like your mental health depends on it, because it does. Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate, seek out sources that present objective information rather than emotional manipulation, and find creators who educate rather than agitate.
Better yet: create more than you consume. Every hour spent scrolling is an hour not spent building something meaningful.
How to Make Friends Online - without Being Weird
The internet IS an incredible place to find your people, if you know where to look.
Forget the comments section. That's where conversations go to die.
Instead, slide into DMs with genuine curiosity. While 50 people might see your comment on someone's post, sending them a thoughtful message will guarantee you get their full attention.
Here's the playbook that works:
Find your communities. Reddit forums, Discord servers, LinkedIn groups, newsletter communities… Wherever your interests intersect with others, show up consistently, add value, and become a recognisable name.
Message with purpose. Don't just say "hey." Reference something specific they shared. Ask a thoughtful question. Share a relevant experience.
Most people will engage if you're genuine.
Go deeper faster. Skip the small talk. Ask about passions, dreams, challenges. People crave real conversation in a world of surface-level chatter.
Move beyond the platform. Exchange numbers, jump on a call, meet for coffee if you're local. Digital connections become real relationships when you invest time and energy.
Why Networking Matters More Than Ever?
The world still runs on connections.
85% of jobs are filled through networking, not job boards, not applications.
Relationships.
Who you know matters more than what you know, and I know that stings. But here's the silver lining: it's easier than ever to build genuine professional connections if you approach it strategically.
The old networking playbook (business cards, forced small talk, transactional relationships) is dead.
The new approach is: Adding value first, building relationships second, asking for favours third.
Share insights in your field, introduce people who should know each other, celebrate others' wins publicly, and the opportunities will follow naturally.
Virtual networking has become the norm, with 40% of people preferring online connection over in-person meetings.
Translation: your next career breakthrough might start with a thoughtful LinkedIn message or newsletter reply.
Your Connection Strategy
Stop chasing likes. Start building relationships.
Replace one hour of scrolling daily with one meaningful conversation. Send three genuine messages this week to people whose work you admire. Join one community where your interests intersect with others.
The future belongs to people who can build genuine connections in a world drowning in surface-level noise.
Ready to go deeper?
Hit reply and tell us: what's one relationship you want to strengthen this year?
We read every response, and I'll share the best strategies in next week's newsletter.
Stay connected (for real).
and | A guest post by
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This collab was so packed with gems! Loved the part on curating your inputs like your peace depends on it because it really does. And the creator tools breakdown? Super helpful. From Stripe to group chats, platforms to podcasts you both touched everything that matters.👏🏽